nazanin.

school
sucks. 
i hate it
euro - so horrible. i dont even know why im there
english- stupid
Pre-calc- eh math
Physics- eh math and weird philosophical teacher
Journalism- love it.
Spanish- quieres una menta? 

friends
are alive and well.
busy busy busy

ME.
i want new clothes.NOW.

WE STARTED IT OUT SWEET.

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?:	starting english essay
--:	worried

For Anyone that still cares to know if i exist: there is a thing called a PHONE.

other than that--

this week i am/will be doing an program with the Yale Daily News.
i have met with editors from the NYTimes, WSJournal, and even Entertainment Weekly
so far its been a rather rewarding experience
i will be writing a news story about the cross campus construction
during this time i will be forced to talk to the most ignorant people
but have the rewarding experience of talking with some intellectuals in the old campus
i have met BRILLIANT kids from all over Connecticut in the program
kids who have spent their summers at MIT analyzing DNA, traveling in villages in china, 
 or working for the governor
Kids who are incredibly worldly. 
I have made many friends, most of whom attend boarding school.

Ironically, i have learned more about myself from this program than about journalism
the things they teach us, i already know. 
but what i see in these kids is a different world.
the fact is that they are just kids. 
yet most have these big philosophical ideas about the world, 
they are all so well spoken, and goal oriented
they spend their summer thinking about the future and studying
they think that now is not the time to have fun.
But what i have realized is that these are not the kids speaking.

NO 18 year old boy WANTS to read the Wall Street Journal.
an 18 year old boy EVEN ONE WHO CARES ABOUT EDUCATION wakes up thinking 
about sex, girls, money, more sex, and going back to sleep.
NOT THE WALL STREET JOURNAL.

These ideas are drilled into these kids minds by their parents.
Parents who are so carried away with wanting their kids to have these lives that are picture perfect
they tell their kids wrong from right, they tell them what to do.
They never give teh kids time to experience life for themselves.
Their kids have become adults. BUT faux-adults. 
These kids have become their parents.
I have slowly drilled out these silly facts about these kids
things THEY LOVE TO DO, like shopping or sports
one kid LOVES sleeping. tahts all he ever wants to do. sleep.
i find all this so fascinating.
it shows taht this whole system of feeding people an idea l
ike the government does exists in the very domestic home.

NOW TO THE POINT
as much as i would like to be as smart, informed, and worldly as these kids
i am perfectly happy with the person i have come to be
no one define who i am 
i have my morals, goals, and dreams.
not my parents.
what i am trying to say is, i'm a kid.
i'm not a picture perfect child, and im not going to ever be.
i have brains, but  not the smartest.
i have talents, but not an artist.
i dont want to spend my youth with my head in my books
AS IMPORTANT as that is, living is more important.
im NEVER going to be 16.
im never going to have this body, this energy, and this much fun.
im not going to look back 10years from now and remeber studying
i'm going to remember the idiotic mistakes i made that taught me a lesson.
because the experiences i've had that these kids haven't will teach me 
so much more than any big IVY league textbook or professor is going to teach me

my lessons are memories, and those memories are my past.
and my past is me.

if you didnt read the whole thing, it's fine.
but if you did, i hope you got something away from it.

summer time update:

-2 day
geometry final
hannah's with vicki jess cj jill mel kev

-1 day
spanish final
beach

0 day
last day of school
beach

day 1
beach
jens with everyone


day 2
mere's
TGIF & hot busboy action
colleen's

day 3
day 4
parentals

day 5
work with mom
colleen's for dereks bday

day 6
Cafe Antantique with the girls (MM, CO, LC)
beach with the girls
marks with everyone


and now i am dead.

RECOMMEND
1. A film:
2. A book:
3. A song:
4: A band:

PLUS
1. One thing you like about me:
2. Two things you like about yourself:
3. Put this in your lj so i can tell you what I think of you.
4. POST A PICTURE OF YOU! (And, "my icon is my picture" is not sufficient!)

heat heat heat
i made my dad buy 50 dollars worth of flowers for our porch
and its not even that many
but they are really pretty colors : red, magenta, baby pink, white and yellow
so i decided to sit outside
to bronze my legs for skirts and such
BUT 
i dont bronze
i olive
so now i have this rather sexxy tan line from my shorts
and my legs are a yucky brown
other than that...
theresa is home now so we sat and ate
and talked. It felt good for her to be here.

--:	hot
--:	the fray

Today was a really sucky day. 
Ive been studying for SAT IIs but I have ADD and get up every ten minutes to get something to eat. 
I seriously cant focus.

--:	sore
--:	Jack Johnson

(001) Your gender: female

(002) Straight/gay/bi?: straight

(003) Single?: yes

(004) Want to be?: im fine

(005) Age?: 16

(006) Age you wish you were: i like it now. i dont want to get older

(009) The color of your eyes: dark brown

(010) Piercings: -

(012) Tattoos: -

DO YOU...

(013) Smoke: -

(015) Read the newspaper: at times

(017) Talk to strangers who IM you: no

(018) Take walks in the rain: like today? yeah

(019) Drive: illegally

(020) Like to drive fast?: nah

(021) Hurt yourself: i often get papercuts from my binders

HAVE YOU EVER...

(022) Been out of the country: yes

(023) Been in love: i dont think so

(024) Done drugs: no

(025) Gone skinny dipping: yes

(026) Had a surgery: no

(027) Ran away from home: no

(028) Played strip poker: lol

(029) Gotten beat up: i beat them bitches up ACTUALLY  I JUST LOOK AT THEM AND THEY RUN.

(031) Been on stage: yeS

(032) Slept outdoors: yes

(034) Pulled an all-nighter: yes

(036) Talked on the phone all night: yes

(038) Slept all day: yes

(039) Killed someone: no

(040) Made out with a stranger: lol

(041) Had sex with a stranger?: no.

(042) Kissed the same sex: cheek

(043) Done anything sexual with the same sex: no

(044) Been betrayed: yes

(045) Broken the law: yes

(047) Been on radio/tv: yes

(048) Been in a mosh-pit: no

(049) Had a nervous breakdown: yes

(050) Been criticized about your sexual perference: no

(051) Had a dream that kept coming back: yes

(052) Favorite shoe brand?: pumas

(053) Favorite music: anything

(054) Wear hats: yes, i like wearing my guy friends hats

(055) Judged other people by their clothing: its bad but yes

(057) Are you trendy: you tell me

YOU BELIEVE IN...

(058) Life on other planets: yes

(059) Miracles: no

(060) Astrology: no

(061) Magic: no

(062) God: yes

(063) Love: no

(064) Ghosts: yes

(065) Rebirth: maybe?

(066) Love at first sight: no

(067) Ying and Yang?: sure

(068) Witches: no

(069) Easter bunny: no

(071) Do you consider love a mistake: no

(072) What do you find romantic: it depends who its with

(074) Turn-offs: guys that try to hard, skinny boys

(075) Do you base your judgement on looks alone: no

(076) Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone and physically unattracted? yes

(077) What is best about the opposite sex?: hugs and kisses

(078) What is the last present someone got you?: money

(079) Do you like/love someone?: no

LAST PERSON...

(080) That you laughed at: mother

(081) That laughed at you: mother

(082) That kissed you: mom

(083) You went shopping with: theresa

(084) To dissapoint you: kyle

(085) To make you cry: dad

(086) To brighten up your day: my friends

(087) You saw a movie with: the clan

(088) You talked to on the phone: kevin

(090) You talked to on text message: kevin

(091) Your best friend(s): the cao sisters, cj,mal,mark

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU...

(092) Smiled: in school

(093) Laughed: two mins ago

(094) Cried: last week

(095) Bought something: pbj

(096) Danced: marks

(097) Who is your crush: this saturday i would have given you a name. but i dont know whats wrong with me. i like a person for three days. the third day my brain just kind of piles up all their faults against all their good parts and then i end up not liking them. the problem with that is that i leave the poor boy hanging, and i usually regret my actions. so basically, its been three days and im over it. im sick of this feeling. i kind of want someone there for longer. someone who will understand that i am in no situation to make a commitment and the promise of being togethor every hour. i just want that person tehre. but i guess i already have that.

oh well

> Dear Ms. Kiraly,
>
> Sorry for being a snot at the end of the period today. I
> was just really aggravated that I couldn't figure out one
> more thing for the compare and contrast part of the test.
> I didn't realize my attitude was so nasty until I left. I
> didn't mean to take out my aggravation on you.
>
> See you tomorrow.
>
> no longer a meanie,
>
> Nazanin